I've posted this quite a number of times...just feel the need to post this now..urgently.HEEHEE..A smile speak a thousand words. Short and sweet! =) 30/1

Hi everyone again. LOL. Decide to blog earlier course i dont want to miss the timing. HA HA...well..JAnet is counting down with me on Msn..Very nice of her. HEEHEE.

I hope that this 16 yr old chapter would be much more earlier to write...i dont demand for perfect smooth sailing..but a happy one. I want to smile everyday....even in the downs. I want to make people around me happy..and not letting anyone out. I want to see my family members united and together as sticky paste. I would definitely want people in the poorer country to get some food or health care. Not that i can help much...just that when i am going to start a brand new chapter...others might be waiting for theirs and probably this people might not be as fortunate as us. Start anew.Get afresh.JUST DO IT!

=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)

Dont usually celebrate birthday. Thank you MOM! =) It is on this date that i am here in this world. It is then that i am known. A name. An identity. A joy to live. This is just the beginning...

Hi everyone. Hm...29/1 is going to be followed up with 30/1. TODAY IS NEW YEAR DAY!!!! Hm...went to some relatives house to pai nian. well...i'm not really interested in the money..but more of going out and get back my lost self... HA HA..well i could say that i am still kinda lost in my world.

Hm...the last relative house which i went to really left me with deep impression. Well, my Ju Gong is someone who has his own discipline when comes to bring up his own childern. Well..i must say that he has brought up 2 bright and nice looking childern. His older son who is now 2o years old serve as high post in army and his even got scholarship to continue his studies in England. WOAH...he one of the few that i come across got such a high achievement in his 20s. COOL! When he ask me about how much i got for L1R5..i said a figure which he misunderstood as 6! Oh please...if i got 6...i wont be here le. PLus when he ask me if i am holding a post in cca it would at least help me to have some cut off point. Well..i feel bad that i didnt clarify with him...course he was talking continuously. He is a man full of thoughts and believe that with might...things would be done. I could say..i admire him for his determination. I eventually got well with him to say up a few sentences while my parents were busyly talking to his parents. He came from a top secondary school. I can tell....if one comes from that school..surely his result would be one digit. I am not trying to conclude myself that easily..but to face the reality. Even though my parents never hold such a high hope for me to do anything that is such remarkable..but at least i still need to try my best than giving myself a death sentence right away. I believe that he would be a bright and promising man next time. I bet!

Hm...it might somehow add pressure on me that people who i know really do well in school..it seemed like they no need to go through so much struggle. Probably this is also a time for me to really think deep into what i am going to do next time. Its only through someone's example that we then really get to know where we are placed. hm....what ever it is...this is a nice and learning season for everyone of us. Don't you agree?

I am waiting for the the minute hand to strike on 12 o'clock. Shh...

Hi everyone. TOday is a special day. For everyone. Happie new year eve peeps.

Wishing all a most enjoyable CNY ever. Grab hold of these joyous season to smile more. *wink* Smile to destress from the work you have.the worries that are bothering all in you.the secrets that you are hiding all along.

Hi everyone. Hm...have been a tough 48 hours for me since thursday. Ya...Many things happened on thursday that make me lose all my directions. Well. Today is yet another day which i dragged most. I have 3 very important stuffs keeping inside me.

Conducting isnt the most pleasant thing to me. HA HA..have been worried for it since i only get to pratice it with my CO for about less than 2 hours. Everything was so sudden to me. And before i knew..i had to face the fact of going up to the stage and face the whole school...( since when i could get such a chance like that of today?!? Hardly any lor. And one time of this really makes a deep impression in me!) while behind the curtains...i am exercising vigorously...and conducting in the air. HA HA..and everyone around me knows that i am very nervous. Mr Chan who is the kind soul tried to calm me down by saying some old jokes...heehee...very nice of him. Can you believe it? My instructor was standing behind the curtains when i am conducting....of course he is da best...somehow he act as a invisible pressure to me...Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh HA HA...i siao le. Well, i myself didnt find that i did a good job. But i am glad this conducting thing was over! Phew! I simply just walked off out from the hall. I dont know..when my instructor jokingly asked my what was my surname..i just simply shook my head and I CANT REMEMBER ANYTHING. WAHZ! ha ha..what a joke man. I was too embarrassed to do/say/remember anything. After which...i began to feel the stomach cramp. AW....maybe beacuse i am too nervous which causes my stomach to release too much HCL. ha ha..diao

Hm..after the performace...Hx told me that Janet got something to say to me..Well..i can say that Hx cannot say lies...course..its very easy for one to discover the mystery. HA HA..well...Huiping, Huixin,Li Suan, Meichiee, Jasmine, Sherlyn, Ruluan, Janet, Shiqing and Yi ling stayed back to celebrate birthday with me. Well..i am truely very touched. Really..these are the ones who really help me a lot..plus some who are not there. If everyone i know and come across could be happy..then i very HAPpy le. Small actions from them that really matters great deal to me. CHeers! I declare that today is the birthday of everyone! YUPPIE

My happiest birthday..brought about by my fellow goody friends. They always have made things possible..not only this time. THANKS.Good to have you peeps!^^ =)) 

Hi everyone. I'm once again disconnected from school. But not with homeworks.

Well, heard some of them got back their A math result...Sad/ Happy is just a matter of crossing the line. Wish them Luck! JIa you.

I wish i could numb my heart..from everything else. Even from myself. Well..momentary. Dont worry. Just down under repair. Soon. I will be once again back to normal self. Hope so.=)..ya i still remember my Believes. ;)

Hi everyone. Today's e math test...i dont know how to do the questions. I'm sad but i decided to face it myself.

I dont know...everything that is around me are simply complicated. To the fact that most faces i see in school are stressful kinds. I know sometimes or many times i may appeared looking stress...maybe my facial muscles doesnt coordinate well with my feelings. If studying really brings one a lot of stress..well..its would be hard to enjoy it. I do feel that at times...

I just believe:

1. Smile when i still can smile. Spread the smile to everyone. Probably that would make someone's day. Just seeing you guys happy is indeed a great joy.^^
2. Do while i still can do. Do them willingly with no complaints.
3. Care for one another. Its the feeling of being care of and caring for others which makes this place a better one.
4. Breathe in and breathe out. Sometimes it just come to me that breathing becomes a difficult task. HArd to take in the air and letting it go.
5. Enjoy CHINESE NEW YEAR to my fullest.
6. I Smile, I smile...i smile smile smile.=)
7. [24/1]

[23/1]

Hi everyone. Now it is 11.27pm. Kinda late le. Tomorrow theres geography test. And the day after got e math test. Well..you simply can just tell that all the TESTSsss are coming along eventually.-_- Shall be back to the Robortic me again..

Well, today went out to have dinner with my mom at lor 8 market again. Something happened though. My drink can was sort of stolen. Well..i dont really regard that as stolen as..if you really lost something..probably you wont be able to find out. Somehow or rather..i was right at the spot when everything took place. An old lady who was walking around the tables came by my tabel and took away the can which was half drank. And it was place beside my bags of things. As she took it...she ask a woman infornt of the stall if it was anyone's..and i was just standing beside the stall ordering food. I was like.."uh"...why she never ask me..cause its mine. HA HA..for just the split second thought. I was so puzzled on what she going to do with that can. I eventually found out that she hid it under and egg cupboard. Hm...comes to think of it...i would gladly give away the can. If a person has to eventually take the can for some reason..shouldnt that be an more important factor to he/she? I never said anything but to just observe. Well..i dont want to say anything to embarrass someone who was sort of caught in his/her act. If a 60 cents can could be more than affortable to me..then it does not apply to the old lady. Probably she needs to drink and as well as to sell the can away to earn some money for living. Well..if that is so...whats the reason to take back while no one is looking. yah lor. JUst to think of it...if i were a child..i would simply cry at the sight..HA HA...as you know..childern act as fast as what they really felt inside them. LOLX. So i am glad that i took the right choice. Silence dosent mean approve or disapprove..it the thought from the heart that really make it a more depth than just the surface. Sometimes we really need to think before from all the views before taking on an action. Who knows...if you really being caught in that kind of situation...you might want people to understand you...Plus, we all have our dignity. JUst to spare a thought and give away the gift that might appreciated by others.

Just want to share with you guys..cause what we met in our daily lives could really be a learning lesson for one another..more over...never stop learning while we are still alive on Earth. Guess that about what i want to say..and i think i really make my post very long winded...Sorry. *opps* Take care peeps!

Hi everyone. Somehow..the days just past within a blink of the eyes. Somehow...i long to look forward to chinese new year...a break. Made quite a number of mistakes... Homeworks are making me headache. But just know that i still have to go along..with others.
[Just walk on the road silently. Not making any noise. As quietly as i can...]

Hi everyone. hm...have gone through a hectic day in school. I can feel help but to feel the need to take a very deep breathe. HA HA...yah. What a luck..even before we could end our school...we have to rush through our immidiate class work and other subjects work. Wah...i can only feel myself keep doing and doing...speeding along with the tickling clockO.o

Hm..these few days have been staying back with Huixin to do homework. Probably it helps me to concentrate and at least complete a homework. I think i will hog on computer even i reach home earlier..haiz...and plus it is raining so heavily outside...i dont feel like carrying along my super heavy bag under the rain. yup. During these few days...physics and chemistry re-assessment. Hm...even though i never took anyone of them..but i could really feel what it would be like for those who have to take them. I know...if i were them..i would also fear. I dont know why it takes so much courage to face another paper which once you failed in. Probably is the thinking of failing that keeps anything away. Well...who could help it? I sincerely hope that they could pass this time. Just hope that their hardwork for the last few weeks or days of worrying and stressness could be paid off...hai ya. When they shake their head...i couldnt help but to feel ..erm..hai ya. Sometimes i realli lost of works when comes to my own emotions to other and myself. Something which seem to be unexplainatory seem to be clearer to me than anyone else.

I know this the difficult time. For everyone. But at least we are never alone..but to be going though as a whole. We know it for sure. That might be the common believes in us...the crisis.
Mr koh ask why we study A math until like that( as in so bei chei) ...but who knows that we are determine to get it right from the start. And why we have to study so hard by the way? Maybe thats the last alternative i would choose...course i know nothing would last forever..who knows one day my power station shut down? What am i going to do then? Drink down my home's cooking oil and burn them when i am feverishly doing homework after homework. HA HA..sound lame..probably workable hor..heehee. So outa my mind now!
[ Dont ever feel sorry for yourself...it would never work right on yourself than others. Ask what can i do then!]

Hi everyone. HM..what a "good" beginning of the day which reminds me for the rest of the day. HAIZ...sometimes it not up to us wether to stop something. That is why we caught so unprepared in situation. CAn anyone find a hole that i could hide myself in?

Hm..haven been ask to fill in the reflection form. What i just think is...what we feel couldnt always be able to describe in words. I find it harder than any exam essay questions. Maybe i still dont understand myself to even let people to understand me or even ask people to understand me. YA!

Hm..homeworks are getting it potential energy to pile up. If ever any one of them fall onto me from height...i dont know what will happened. HA HA. hai yo yo yo yo!

Sometimes..its beyond our view of scope to even understand something. Searching for a defined answer is not the most important. It only when you urself gets to understand something through the procession of the heart and when it is undefined....you are considered to have succeed. Thats what i think. WE have already seek for many truth but what about the "invisible" that does not come in shapes or size. Therefore..we have to depend more on our heart than anything else. Which means more work for it. HA HA...lame.Well...end of my rubbish talk..TAke care.
[ I learn to brush off the sands from my wounded knees. I have the whole world's responsibility to take care of it. And so i shall spread it on...]

Hi everyone. Yupps. Today is a tiring day. Could anything lift up my soul? At home, i have to face up with all the stacks of homework..which reminds me how inefficient i am. When would i gain the momentum to do everything? I am just dragging things day by day...a procrastinator! HA HA...

Just now when out to eat with my mom at lor 8 market. Hm..on the way home, i stood at the bridge nearest to my house when my mom was in the ma ma shop buying things. Hm...its about sunset. Everything was turing to grayish blue. Somehow or rather, it reminds me that i long to observe the sky. Something which i did whenever i can...just that lately..haven been doing so. The water that runs shallow beneath me seem to be telling me that everything goes on...continously flowing to their destination. Am i stuck somewhere down there?

Break the invisible wall and get myself out...i have to work on this! Zoom.

I smile, I smile, I smile smile smile...You guys too. Smiling need not have a reason..and dont be stingy of it.KEKE=)) 

Hi everyone. Yupss..today is the sec 1 orientation. LOLS. Seem like our orientation is posted to later date than other schools. Whatever it is..it must be an eye-opening scenes for the sec 1s. ( espically the way we shout..HA HA)

Hm..i must say..the planning of the orientation was much more than the 1 hour we are given to. We have planned weeks before..somehow or rather..things dosent go well as it planned. There are always sudden "pop-outs" which add on to everyone's load. Whatever it is...i'm glad that today's situation is much more better than i thought. Althought the performace was abit unsettled..but it is still very heartwarming to see most of the sits are filled up.

Ya..probably that might be the very last big event that i could do in my cca. Somehow or rather..it hints me that what's ahead is someone ready to take over. But i could say that i have a bunch of good members. =) THANKS! Just hope that todays effort would let us have a larger population of next generation to survive in any conditions. (( 3 cheers and 3 cheers and 3 cheers to CO!))

Probably all the effort are being paid off...its nice to see everyone to have the common aim and believes. I would want to walk on forever.with them=))
[14/1/06]

Hm..in search for my way out...felt trapped. I understand that nothing is free from obstacles.As long as i remove the obstacles in my heart...i'm no longer in that maze. 

Hi everyone. Now i'm eating peanut cum butter bread and typing...Hm..today is the earliest that i can reach home. 4Pm..you might think it isnt early anymore..but it meant a lot to me. Right from the beginning of school reopen till now...i have yet to attain my new year resolution---> going home early! Werid isnt it? I'm simply too tired in school to stay back any much longer. But more staying back are rushing to me now and then...ahhhhhhhhhh..HA HA..i'm crazy le.

Lately it have been raining continuously...Like Janet says..." The water from the sky is really free! " Seemed like it is a good idea for sleeping and enjoying free air-conditions at home...but something makes me think about it twice. Rather that the advantages which the rain brings to us..what could be the hidden disadvantages? Have you ever though of it...hm..causing floods? HA HA...oh ya..i'm the one who think too much..KEKE. My mood has been on and off these few consecuative days...I'm sorry if i am again causing lots of trouble or unhappiness to you guys. Much to my apologie. Sorry. Guess the only way which seem appealing to me now is bed. After which...i hope i can settle down my thoughts which are lately floating around and around.
*dizzy* I felt the uncertainy hang there like a standstill. What am i expecting? What is there to make me hesitate over and over again? I wish not to think of these things anymore. That is why i choose to keep quiet...and i know it might not be the best solution. Yupps...

Like i say... this list of endless wordings might not show much...but more an extend for me to clear my mind out. THis is the only place which i could throw all my rubbish in...at least it wont be bugging me for the next few days...-_- yupps. I shall put a huge fullstop to all these!!!!!!!

TATA [11/1/06]

A reminder for myself and for everybody...losing your smile lately? No worries..i hope i can remind u always...=) 

At least i thought it is back to normal..a one big family..rainbow formed after a rain...=) 

THis is seriously so cool! Like a lamp isnt it..lolxx.a jelly fish that glows under deep sea! 

Hi everyone. I feel that i'm very much better now..although my body cant help but to send out signs of unwell. HA HA..but i'm glad that my mind is not... I still can think well. Shows that mind goes further than body does. But i know lah...they work hand in hand. Wont be efficient if one side is lacking. LOLX. I believe i can do it...to learn how to manage things better. Just dont feel like seeing the history repeat itself again.

I wish for the year ahead is less painful but not less vigorous. I would want to manage myself, time with friends,family and studies. I will learn them ...even i'm ask to learn from zero, i will gladly accept that.=)

Hi everyone. My throat isnt feeling that well...seem like i gonna lose my voice..*Opps* I cant bear not to talk..HA HA..to the fact that i would rather want to be very quiet this time.

Hm...school was just as usual...but seem that not all the lessons have started yet. Not much a problem..probably some self-expectations to fulfill.

Later after school, went for Chinese Orchestra practice. After which, there is a concert by nanyang poly CO. It is expected for 40 people to go..but instead only 36 people volunteered. Sad to say that it took us very long to gather these people. Somethings not right. The main theme of the concert is "starstruck" hm...i must say that they have a strong CO of more than 100 over members. I couldnt help but to wish for the CO of ours could be like them. Strong and with force. I will lookforward to that. The songs that they played were all very soothing and familiar song themes from movie or television drama. COOL.. I hope this would also be the time for the rest of the sec 2s to gain their interest and not to regret for coming there in the first place even thought we have made it compulsory under circumstances. Something which works...in a way that there would have opposite reactions. Well, i've seen enough...0.O

I know...i couldnt help but to see flaws here and there. Something which makes me want to think twice or thrice about it. Nevertheless...i will still visit my power station frequently...with higer voltage pump into me. Sounds good...

Hi everyone. Have been the a tiring day....Zzz I need lots of sleep. Now lacking sleep day by day..sure cant make up for all these hours. (thinking back..during the holidays) HA HA...

Okie..gotta go..TAKE CARES. =))

Hi everyone. Yupps...today was the first day of school. Hm...cant get use to waking up so early when the sky is still dark. *yawn* Looking into the mirror..i dont even recognise myself...more like a lion queen..Zzz. "First day of school...indeed."

It feels very good to be able to be with all the familiar faces...that's what i looking forward throughout. ;) After having such a long holiday, the uniform i wear seem so...werid? The bag seem not to be mine...and the shoes like cannot last for any longer..the soles like going to come off le. HA HA...
I cant stand it...i'm so tired for the whole day. I really miss my bed.*day dream* HA HA...i guess first day was more relaxing but i dont think this will happen for tomorrow. Books, studies and lessons. Finally back to the robortic me..(right huiping?) HA HA...just crapping.
Hm...after school, went to patch up some of the deco in the classroom. My horror to find all the pieces dropping off..hope it wont drop again so soon.>_<>
I give my promise...i will do my best..for u all. The fact that i'm not treating that as a post..but a responsibility. Just like in my CCA..if you ask me if i feel myself as one..nope...course i dont think we should get things conclude so fast...we shall see how it goes...a chance for other people would also be an alternative. A new chapter is yet to begin.I will write the chapters faithfully. =))

Hi everyone. Hm...lately have been trying my best to do finish the homework. Well, even after school reopen, i will be still doing my homework. I wont rest till i finish them.( supposed to be done by now...blame me for playing too much)

Hm...just now i watch a drama serial from 1pm to 3.30pm. It was shown on Channel 8. When i first saw the title of the drama..i thought it might be another boring show. But i was wrong. This was a drama serial on a cooking industry. Forget the name. But what i look out for is the substance in the storyline. In this drama, the big chief who own the whole restaurant was down under stroke. He cant even take care of himself properly..he urinate uncontrollably when no one come to take care of him. His main dishes for all the meals were cup noodles. Yes, he had a son and a daughter. His son was full of plans to migrate to other country and start up another restaurant with his father wealth. An unfilial child. His daughter was not able to understand why her father force her to help him out in the kitchen when he was still healthy.
An ex-prisoner was released from the jail with good conduct. With the help from his centre, he was able to get a job in the that restaurant. Most of the helpers and chiefs look down on him. Lack of trust was all that he sees. He had indeed turn over a new leaf for the sake of his granny who had passed away when he was in the jail. Under cheap payment, he was asked by the boss(the son) to look after his father. What that was really touching was that he never show any dislike to the state the old man was in. He cleaned up the house which is full of unrination, bathe him clean and cooked fired rice for him to eat. The tiny details which he did for the man in a form of invisible concern and care. Slowly, the man start to open up to him and teaches him the skills to cooking. With the trust, he went back to the restaurant and did a good job. However, people around him still treat him as prisoner, someone who would always have the black record for the rest of his life. He never gave up but to determine to do his part well. For another reason...it was the man who gave him the trust unlike anyone. He picked his way up slowly and soon..he was ever more qualified to be a chief. His loyality for the man was never ending..he still when back everyday to take care of the man.
However, the restaurant was faced with the lesser costumers and some workers wanted to quit. It was the most difficult time. Soon enough...the restaurant might face with the fact of being closed down after 40 years of history. One day, the old man when back to the restaurant...he was sadden by the state of his very own restaurant. He said to all the workers sadly..with his face muscle shooking uncontrollably, " ....Even there is one costumer come in...you all still need to cook the best food out..." Just in time, a costumer came in and ordered "ma bo dou fu" The young man with the guidlines given by the old man cooked the dish that the costumer wanted. Never did they know that this was the best opportunity for them to make a come back. The next day, costumers came in contiuously. That was when they realised that the only costumer who came the other day was actually a writter from the newspaper! That was the day when the restaurant really came back to alive. Like the olden days.
When the young man went back to tell the old man of the good news...the old man was already dead in his wheelchair. In his hand held a book of recipes and said that if there is another day, hope that the restaurant would come back alives with the good dishes passed down.
It was a story of an ex-prisoner who really wanted to be accpeted by the public, an old chief who has all the hope to do up his very own industry and the misfortune to have an unfilial child.

I was very touched by the story. Maybe the way i write might not be that touching..sorry..*opps*It might be just a make up story...but isnt that what we sees now in daily life? Would a parent who treated his child so well when he was young boy..would ended up in such a bad state. Even an ex-prisoner treated him father-like. No one is willing to make any mistakes...but forgiving the person would really create space for one to start anew. A reborn of life. It is the heart of the person that we should look out for. The heart to care, concern,share for other people...

[2/1]