Hi everyone. I know that i should be studying right now..but i have a lot of things bothering me...
I cant denied that i'm not stress...yes..i'm stress...but i think not to an extreme. I just dont know where to start from. I havent been studying throughly lately..despite of the coming exam...everyday is a homework day for me....and i dont feel i'm prepared...

Maybe this is an new experience...see how i will fair this time..

Just now, i saw on television about a case of someone going insane as he could not cope with the reality and he was pushing himself too much. A lot of factors contributed to make him to such state..such as didnt know how to face his family if he go back home without finishing his university study, thinking that he will lost everything....He carry this kind of thinking back home and he begin to have illusion that his dead father was asking him to get out of the house as he was not qualified and bring humilation to the household. Even when he had his dinner with his family...it ended up in awakard silence and he would sometime say the dishes were poisonous. He was later sent to hospital for treatment. He undergo treatment such as using eletric current to balance out the adnormal nervous system.......i only watch until this part then my father switched off le.

After watching it...it saddens me...a person who is having a lot of pressure could be negative at times...and studying too much really choke my mind. Why a bright person would eventually end up in such state...a loss of balance between stress management and and personal demands....tradegic...and that is the last thing i want to see.....=(

Hi everyone. Wassup? The day begin with a werid self-confession to myself. "Selling yourself to me"..that's what Ms Lim said..Everyone was like "har?!?" and stared back at her questioningly...hm...believe me...total blank for me...But i manage to squeeze some unimportant points in..hehe...good that when i read again..it make sense this time..haha...LoL...never thought before my morning would be such an interesting one..gee..

SS test was a killer man...i forgot a lot of points..and therefore you can think how many marks fly away liao! bleah! The A math paper was return back..i dont think i get the concepts correctly...shows how prepare i am for the exams..haiz..

After the SS test..i just make a reflection on myself. A big realisation that i think is a big mistake if i dont correct myself..i will be very sorry next time..argh.. There goes all my mood...mood swing again...not anyone's problem..is my OWN..hm..what about pointing 10 fingers at me..like that more confirm..It's not about human relationships, home affairs, studies...something to do with my daily work....haiz...

I dont wish to be like that actually...just that lately...i trying to grab hold of myself...to stop myself before hitting on something which will cause serious damage..

I know that i like all the people around me to be happy and not sad...that's my wish..and lower the damage cause to others... So..make sure you are living better everyday...

Hi everyone. Hm..how are you guys been doing.. I kinda tired.

Today's is HuiPing's birthday.. Happy Birthday girl!...I guess birthday would be more meaningful to her...When there is someone celebrating with you..even just one person knows..
Our birthdays are also the days when our mother suffered to give birth to us....thankful to all our mothers for giving birth to us..or else we wont be who we are now...and there might not be a person call sook han le. Is that good or bad? Anyway..glad that huiping and others are happy...there goes to brighten my day a little. =) Its good to smile...when smiling from the bottom of your heart...never ever you will feel such joy..

Do you enjoy the things you now doing? Anything... What is the motivation for you to carry on? What factor is it? Do you ever feel like giving up? What you feel best about what you are doing? What is the purpose? What you going to conclude at the end of the day?

Erm...maybe above are some questions you can think about...the answers shows what kind of person you are and how you actually handle things and probably shows some about your environment and people surrounding you... Know where you are heading for... The dot is just a dot itself when we view it from 2-dimensional .. However...how you can conclude that the dot is a circle or if there's any particular shapes behind which is hidden from all of us... Look at it from 360 degree or even more..something that you never discover before may just be easily discover by just turning it... Even if the answers you give above are very negative...do approah you life of dot and see it in more perspectives. If only we care about it...for others and yourselves..yup yup

I do have a lot of weakness and uglyness...sometimes i just wonder if i do any beneficial to others...to all the people in my life till now... food for thought huh? yeah.. i always think a lot...
to pin point at myself first instead of others...what am i up to?..Bleah

Hi everyone. Hm..nothing much to say but just went back to school for math extra lesson. yup yup..

Now i'm speechless...how should i continue?werid...

Hm..yeah..though of something which i think is very meaningful. Value the things you have and own. Regardless of what it is...everything has its value waiting for us to value and understand. Something which i feel very afraid of as i cant do well in it...i tried to escape from it..but what i've just stated earlier definately go against my silly idea. Well...i would like to make the first step out...but i have this forbia..

Finishing all my homeworks seemed to be the only accomplishment npw...haiz...HELLO? Exams are near and i dont feel that i'm doing what i should be doing..aw..terrible!

Hi everyone. At this moment, i think most of us are in the school hall watching the concert..yah..hope they are enjoying themselves..=)

Today there a CO BBQ party at the gallery. Disappointment..quite a number of senoirs didnt come for this BBQ which is meant for them. Some even left early.. I understand that the timing and venue arent the best since it is held in school, there bounce to have a lot of restrictions and also..we only got about 2 hours to barbecue. Althought it isnt the successful BBQ that i always wanted to have...at least for the main com effort...overall it went smoothly. I hope the seniors enjoyed themselves althought this may not be their ideal celebrations method...haiz..
To all main com, thoes who have help out, and members of CO: Thanks for all the effort that you have put in to come and attend or even help out in this BBQ. It's nice to have you people and let's work hard for the rest of the year! =)

The previous main com lead by Madeline and Yi Min had done a good job last year. It was also the year that we got bronze for SYF. Yeah...i look upon them. This year, our batch of main com isnt able to be here to create another history in CO, but more to do the foundations for the CO to get a better award in 2007. If only we work together. I hope that everyone could be as committed and has a sense of belonging to this CO. Hm...It doesnt matter who you are and what role you are playing, everyone is equally important. Just like the technical screws in a plane..one went missing, would the plane able to function properly? Would it able to fly as high?.....

Hi everyone. I successfully sleep late last night..after much effort to do so...aw..so tired...I think this situation would continue for the rest of the week..just hope i can get used to it..

Chemistry test was a very exciting one..so much so that i have to rush for my last section within last 15 minutes....and my heart pump fast....*sweat*

I'm so tired...tomorrow gonna going to be a more tiring day... Going to recharge myself at the nearest electric socket.....=)

Hi everyone. I'm back..heehe..maybe i should say something light-hearted for today ba...so that i can neutralise my previous and previous postsssss... :p

Today we have chinese oral exam...realised that Jasmine and Ru Luan are both very good at speaking Chinese...as in the way they say..really impressed people. yup yup. The oral turned out to be a very fast one. The passage was shortened to the last few paragraph..yup..no wonder the teachers can clear us at such a short time. I stumbled on some words..i think my reading is just "okay okay"..The conversation was somehow easy and difficult...why i said that? Cause...when you listen to the question...it seemed easy to interpret but the problem comes when answering on the spot with good explanations and eleborations. yah. When i fought my way through..trying very hard to make sense out of the words i said...i somehow see the teacher frowning and at the same time approving...I know it took me a hard time trying to convey what i want to say until she couldnt understand...aw.. I think she was kind enought not to stop me at the spot and ask " what are you trying to say? I DONT UNDERSTAND!" and then say..."Your conversation on this topic is very poor..You may go home.."...haha...see..i invent my own plot..

Hm..see..i promised today's blog would be a light-hearted one ... enjoy..:p tata..going to study for my chemistry test for tomorrow....*tired tired-_-

Hi everyone. i'm tired for what i always wanted to say...so much so that i felt so uncomfortable..werid me...i shall stuff all these things under my bed when i sleep...arg..then i will have nightmares..aw..

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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Erm..i think that's good enought for today..just wanna some peace and get on with my study...
I sound so silly right? erm..nvm.. I cant visit anybody's blog including my OWN one..aw...=( =(..That stupid free filter thing...6 months lei!!!!! If i dont tag your blog or anything..please forgive me...sorry.. Now i feel so fustrated....argh...and i cant do the identities.. Why all this stupid-silly-headach things come to me har...ShOO....Maybe i should really start to use any equipment to remove all this dirty stains in my life!!!! My life seemed to be like mixing all the different colours to get a dark brownish colour...can someone come and "purify" me....To start anew as a blank piece of paper..........

Hi everyone.Hm...today took the E math test... I hope i can do well after the last test which looked so "red".. The highlight of the day was the part when we did our flag day. Cant really got the chance to sit on the lorry..aw..Then in the end..we all went to take bus 232 to Central. =)
I took the can and the 2 packets of yellow ribbons and set out to somewhere far away from the central as i think most of us would crowd the central itself. Initially, my approach towards other people for donation was not a good start at all...the first few rejected me and walked off...aw.. Now i got the taste of being rejected in public! Out of 10 person i come across, 6-7 would simply-garantee reject me... But, at last, i got the hang of getting more people to donate by continuing to approach people. How should i say...some of them were very kind and donated $2 notes.*grin*..simply make my day out there a more evenful one ..heehe. Some thing that left me pondering about was what one of the male donators told me. I still could remember what he said clearly... As i approach him to donate, he at first felt very reluctant and before i knew, he start to chat with me...dont ask me why..cause at that time i blur blur one. He told me about his friend who is just came out of prison not long..and he eventually find his job being a security guard. But recently..he of retrenched as he within 5 years could not be a security guard( a rule passed down ba..). Therefore he ask me if this kind of donations would help? I stood transfixed to where i'm standing as i do not want to be rude and walked away...I just hope someone would come to my rescue. Finally, he said that I being a student should think throughly as this kind community service is just another propaganda.............. Hearing this, i really dont know what to do. My face totally went blank...BLANK! =(

I managed to get three packets and more of the yellow ribbons given out. Very good experience i should say...being rejected and accepted...standing under the hot blazing sun and walked about the whole toa payoh centre 4 times...aw..drained. I said a lot of thank you ...until to the extend that i wish i would not say thank you anymore..haha..jk lah. Maybe i dont feel like talking so much anymore....conserve energy...heehe.

I hope that everyone would slow down their speed and get a moment to breathe in. To gain every single force to complete the the main task. Smile and Jia you! Smile at least 10 times ba....you will realised that your journey would be a much more easiler one.

Hi everyone. yah...This morning rained very heavily. Just dont know what this weather actually symbolise. It has been so long since it rained. So long... Everyone isnt feeling very good these days... dont know..maybe i too sensitive le.

I'm tired...

The day has been an okay one. OR i think so... Had a meeting with Mr Lee and other CCA leaders. Its all about reaching out to all the members from different CCAs rather than the school dealing with the student's affairs. Not a bad idea. But, controlling a group is already so difficult...okie..maybe i should not think like that..hai yah. Today we celebrated our instructor's birthday. yeah. Next week there is E math test and CIP on Monday. Chinese Oral on wednesday, Thursday and Friday there is CO practice plus we are going to have Barbecue on Friday too... Busy week i should say...I need to balance out my activities and my studys. This is the first time i feel so "weak" when comes to study. Everytime i write the date for every day, i kinda scared of doing so...It reminds me that the exams are not any further away but just left 2 weeks..haiz.

I always wanted to make everyone's day a good one. Making 10 person smile would be a great achievement. But lately, i saw 3 person cried personally. What does it shows? Either they are very stress or have some problems in their life. Just imagine..what kind of things could really make one cry..surely its a very serious one. I just hope i will not be in this situation..never. I just dont know how i can trust my words. So contridicting...

Hi everyone. What's your mood today? Mine fluctuate a lot. Due to external pressure. Not only that, internal pressure too....If i'm going to explain everything...it would be very complicated. I shall not spoil your day with that..hehe

Something i wanted to clarify with myself. All along..did i make anyone feel inferior/tried beacause of stupid me. I feel that i have. To commit such unwanted "crime". I cant forgive myself and ..I'm tired too... I tried very hard to minimise that hatred and the kind of looks from other people. I dont like that at all! I really wish i could be disappear from the Earth and then i would not be your that pin-in-your-eyes. Something that comes along may be a unfortunate event for others. And you feel sad while i feel remorseful. I want to do something to reverse back everything. From the start,beginning to the first letter. If only i could stop this from going on...trust me..i will use all might to do so!

Hm...someone who used to make you angry..you should be grateful to him/her. Cause he is the one who teaches you to tolerate and due with a right sense. Someone who used to leave you out...you should be grateful cause he teaches you how to be independent.someone who hate you..you should be grateful cause he teaches you how to love the person back more...someone who point out your mistake teaches you to correct yourself and be better. This list could continue forever and endless....What i'm trying to say here is, everyone around us is a teacher by nature. teaches us to upgrade ourselves. Erm...i think this is getting abit to far off...if you dont understand, please dont. Cause maybe this whole chunk of stuff is tedious. Hai ya. I just hope that you guys could find the person u want to be and bring out the best in you. Jia you ..=)

Hi everyone. Computer had some problem..that's why i cant come online..hehe..now okay le. =)
Today we have English Oral. I was kind of scared at the beginning..way before taking the test. I dont know..i felt so nervous. I can never speak well in English. But for the sake of passing English in the final year exam, i need to put in my best to do well for oral. Complications.Daze. My oral exma teacher was ms pearly lim. I was kind of afraid since last year 2e2 had some complications/conflicts with her. And i think we disappointed her a lot. Yeah..2e2..very famous in the staff room last year. Teachers would comment on how "good" we were..hehe..[note: i'm saying the opposite!] haha..lol..but i had lots of fun in that class..=) Back to my oral exam, i think i make a point to be polite to her since i can tell that she was very tired. I can even see her eye rings. hehe...Everything turn out to be fine for me..but i dont know about the grades. I think i tried my best.yup yup

I realised that i'm very uncivilised. I think i've hurt a lot of people due to my mood swings. I dont wish to..now i'm sinned. I regret and feel bad about it. SORRY. realli.. Yah..if a sorry could solve everything, how great it could be. I want to be a better person..but instead, unknowingly, i've not obtaining to be one. sadly... my uglyness...haiz.

Exams are coming up...i've yet to fulfil my job to study all the subjects. I just wish i could remain smiley as exams are getting closer. Like today, i keep telling myself to smile when i'm feeling very nervous and not confident about the oral test. I just hope it would help. I just need to help myself across this "difficult" time. If not..who else?

Hi everyone! Hm..it's kinda late now...you guys sleep yet? If not..just wish someone could talk to me right now..hehe..

Today, we went to science centre for bateria transformation.Mr Amos and Ms Lim were there to accompany us..hehe.. The course was a Cool one ..yeah..never know biology could be that fun when coming to do hands on things..hehe.. Now there's a little hope in making history in biology..keke..

Later, we have a few hours to tour the science centre on our lesiure and for lunch. Sherlyn, Huixin, Jasmine and i went to all the sections and we found lots of fun..muhaha.. I'm not in a state to eat...eating now reminds me of puking..haha..lol..haiz...CANNOT be like that de, I need to get well and start eating..COURSE...Eating is my NO. 1 hobby..hehe..lol..

I just dont know what's wrong with me. The journey from school to science centre and back to school..i spent my time SLEEPING on the bus...*tired tired* When we reach school, Huixin, Lisuan, Veronica and i had to go for CO practice. This is the first time where i felt like not going for it..no choice..if i dont go...everyone will throw stones/banana skins/rotten vegetables/eggs on me..yeah..see..do i have a choice..of course NO lah..:P Anyway, the practice turn out to be a fine one..just that attendace was really bad..haiz...and this is already the dont-know-how-many-times i heard my instructor pointing out the problem..*headache

I came home after 8pm..tired+tired=very exhausted. *yawn* But i guess, today was an interesting and challenging day.

Something extra i learn today: Be sensitive to what others are behaving..either strangely or dont know lah..Open all your senses to make room for that person. Dont step into his/her way..cause you are just asking for trouble. hehe..and also make spacious room in your heart for everyone. Or maybe try to..hehe..see how good you handle stuff lor.hehe..Jia you everyone. I think i shall end here...my heart-to-heart talk with you guys....=))

'Yeah..i shall always remind myself to stay in such state. You guys too!!!!'  

I understand how you feel. Fustrated with me. Or sometimes angry with me. But i just want you to know..i didnt mean to. Sorry..Maybe you have the wound that i'm having now. No matter how much you and i do, the wound will always be there. I'm still learning how to be a better person. Hoping no one would get hurt. No one...

To someone i wanted to convey this to: If you and i were running on the same track, and i fell down and lack behind you. Dont look back. Pls continue the journey. I dont wish you to see me crying. I just want you to know...i'm a friend of urs ..not a competitor. All the best!

Hey everyone. You guys have to take care of your health...wear more clothing since it rains today. Drink more water and sleep early! haha..lol.. Sad to say is, beginning of holiday, i'm already down under flu, bad throat. Luckily, my temperature didnt rise as much..or maybe i dont know..hehe..Not intenting to go see a doctor. I see how it goes ba...=) I can heal myself last time..;) Jasmine said that my face look very whitish..huh..or should be pale ba..I also dont know why she said that 3 times..argh..isit? Nevermind..

My father ask me for my report card..but i didnt let him see yet. Seem like i really lost in the hide-and-seek.keke. I think i got over it le.

I think i will just write till here..or else Jasmine going to say i'm writting essay. haha

Heyhey..come and see...yeah..i'm not inside the photo..heehe. From the left: Yi Yu, Aldelia, Hui Ping, Li Suan , Ms Lim, Shu yan and Li Xian. Yup..you people rawks..hehe..=)) 

Hey everyone. Holiday going to start soon. What you all plan to do? I need to keep away from slacking now..sad to say..i have been slacking a lot nowadays...just lack of the motivation to study ...how? Kind of worry that...hehe

It seem to me that everyone around me are busying..busying this and that. And dont you agree that sometimes feel very tired? Or find it hard to do accept things? But looking back..you will find that what you did for the past events were all "done". You will have that sense of achievement in life...like filling in the blanks that you always want to...This achievement bring greater joy when coming face to face with another up-coming event. Why are we always so busy?Maybe that's life. I crapping here again..Opps.

I hope that you people out there are finding life meaningful. Appreciate everything around you that normally not eye-catching or attractive. Maybe these are the things that we can learn from and boarden one's thinking. Caring your family is one step out. Next, care for the others around you. After which, no matter who they are or which class of people they are from...treating them equalily is one way to show love and respect.

Seem like i always crap so much on unimportant stuff...wait a minute..all i want to say is..................................bb to u!..muhahha...=))

Hi everyone. Life is so unpredictable... Sometimes i see light emerging in between the dark clouds while some other days will be just a cloudy and dark day, like today.... I can hate things very easily...but to love what you hate is more important here... Now that i'm 15...just wish that i could understand things in more perspective..haha..yeap.

Havent show my result slip to my parents yet...even though my mother asked..haha...and most importantly..my father didnt ask me about it..phew..*cold sweat*..hehe..see how long i can hide it from them...playing hide and seek here..they sure win one..haha.. Do i care so much about results? How does it have effect on my parents or on me? I just wish i could be the centre of the sandwich..not the cream of top..yet not below the indigredients..werid analogy..haha.. Yup. Janet and i promised that we will work hard..no matter what..=) Urgh..maybe i should drop that topic cause its making me feeling so guilty..haha..

I smile i smile i smile smile smile...i laugh i laugh i laugh laugh...muhahahaaaaaaa...yah..see how lame am i..lolx..Spare you all lah..enjoy your holidays =)